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you can sleep when you're dead

13th July, 2006. 5:07 pm. ho hum

I am waiting in this awfully hot city now, hoping that Jon checks email soon so that we can meet for dinner. What did people ever do before phones? I am finding it remarkably difficult and frustrating to not be able to pick up the phone and call. Maybe people just didn't travel before technology. But how did things like armies coordinate?

In the meantime, I am just chillin, trying to think of an activity for tonight and tomorrow that won't kill me. Xi'an is worse than Dallas in the summer, and worse than NY on a bad day. I walk outside and I'm drenched in sweat and choking on humidity. My activity for tomorrow was much of my activity for today: walking around. My walking around venture ended up with me taking a 3 hour nap. What I need, though, is a new book. If Jon doesn't find me tonight, I might trade in his book for a new one.

I really should be applying to jobs, but I have a hard time making myself do it. I'm on vacation now, right? Besides, internet is expensive here, it's 50 cents an hour!

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3rd July, 2006. 10:14 am. Captain Planet, gonna take pollution down to zero.

So first thing's first: Captain Planet, earth to Captain Planet, you're needed in CHina.
No joke. Big pipeline coming out of a coal plant spewing black liquid waste right into a river, and everything. The waste was oil-like, because the water and the waste separated at first, and then mixed together to create the black river. The black waste joining the river actually made a beautiful picture, except for the fact that it made me realize that the famers that live below the waste point all water their livestock there and wade across the river barefoot.

China's development is too early for these effects to be seen yet, I guess. So any of you guys interested in environmental action and studies go to the coal plants around datong and statistically compare birth defects and infant mortality./
jesus, it was so disgusting.

but the valley was actually pretty in its bleakness. Don't ask how that works, but it does.

We're going into the inner mongolian desert tomorrow to camp again.

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9th June, 2006. 12:42 pm. When all else fails....

My Chinatown bus to DC yesterday broke down and they stopped in this parking lot apparently 4 blocks from the drop-off place. But in suburban Maryland, I didn't know where I was. I called my cousin and luckily he knew where Orange Ball and Billards Cafe was, cause I sure as hell didn't. I sat down on a street corner, and was joined by this friendly homeless guy named Darrel who was drinking a steel reserve out of a paper bag and explaining to me that the shelters around there were busting his ass, and all he wanted out of life was to have a couple beers and rest his body and go to sleep.

I felt very comfortable and at home with the homeless guy. Able to relate more than to suburbia.

Maybe jobs/apartments are overrated. Maybe I should just set up a tent too. I could go for a steel reserve now....much better than drinking classy beer as I supervise my 18 year old cousin while he gets his "first experiences drinking".

Sigh.

Current music: the arcade fire.

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2nd June, 2006. 2:29 am. DON'T GRADUATE

Responsibilities suck. And the jobs that you're applying for...even if you get them they are awful. And you might not get them. And then you find yourself prostrating yourself to get a job that you don't want to live in a city that is too much for you to afford so you can ...get ahead in life? I hear that that is the motivation.

I hate this and I want to hibernate.

Sorry, I'm no fun today. Don't apply to work with Kaplan. I had to deal with some of the stupidest people I've ever met today. And they're supposed to be educators.

Current mood: shitty.

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11th May, 2006. 2:38 am.

I made a mistake.

And it wasn't the long island I drank.

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13th March, 2006. 11:47 pm. my name is myra and can't get work done

1. dropped spanish.
2. cr/ne that stupid class.
3. no seminar this week.
4. all i have due this week is a make believe grant proposal, thursday.
5. i have no daytime class tomorrow or wednesday.
6. i am very tired and very aenemic. i can feel it.
7. my teeth hurt around the gums. i think i have gingivitis.
8. FIRECROTCHES.
9. it's about feve time. i've been wasting time waiting for feve time since 8;30.
10. 2 more months.

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20th February, 2006. 7:14 pm. I thought that I had no more shame or modesty.

So wrong. There's always a way for drunk Myra to continuously embarrass herself. Although I haven't had more people tell me that I was their hero than this in a really long time. It must have been my offering to god. hehehe. Caitlin's thing is a pretty good encapsulation of the evening, and thankfully I've now been allowed back into the "Don't date us, we're no good on the inside" facebook group. So now my life is complete.

I have a book in front of me that I should be reading, but I'm looking at pictures of scenic Turkey instead. Hopefully direct connect will load soon, and then I'll download Mountain Goats and watch a movie instead of doing my reading.

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26th January, 2006. 8:43 pm.

I just read an article talking about how the chemical profiles of a person in love is almost identical to the chemical profiles of someone with OCD.

And how romance is not biologically necessary to last more than two years.

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25th January, 2006. 12:00 am.

I cut my hair again. That was a bad idea. There was a reason why I made myself promise that I would not cut my hair again on a whim.

One of the schools in Turkey wants me. But only if I can send them a photo of me that makes me look pretty. I got the email right after cutting my hair. I just frantically searched through all of my photos. Nothing where I'm not drunk. So I will have to apply in a couple months.

I ran a mile today. THat was good. My ankle hurts now. THat's bad.

I still haven't written the essay that needs to be in the mail tomorrow. Or the cover letter.

Did I already say that my ankle hurts?

And cruising with Janine through the ins and outs of Williamsburg made me remember why I love NY. And Janine. And dive bars named Wild Turkey, with the sign on the "ladies" room reading "turkettes", and an old guy at the bar who shouts after us, when we go and take our drinks into a corner, that girls never talk to him and it's just his luck that only the antisocial girls go to his bar. I told him that after our conversation, we'd come back and talk to him. I timed our departure with when he was in the bathroom. He scared me.

I need to either party in the city every night or go back to Ohio. Ossining makes me feel like I'm souless with questionable morals.

Current music: none because ipods suck.

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20th January, 2006. 9:03 pm. Ladies, leave your man at home, the club is full of....

Ruth told me that I had to think of something exciting for us to do, that was wild and crazy and would break all boundaries.

I suggested that we make a fire, fire up some hot chocolate, and play charades with my family.

She told me that I'm pathetic.

In other news, it's moved beyond a fixation. I am utterly obsessed with getting the fuck out of the United States, and giving myself a year off. I hope that I don't get this Met job. I hope I hope I hope, because I won't be able to turn it down. In the last half an hour, though, I just sent emails/CVs to apply for
1) Teaching English Literature to upper high school AP equivalents in Istambul for one year, paid, and apartment with other foreign English teachers.
2) Teaching English to elementary school children in Egypt, using a new-wave, neo-hippie method where you play contact games in English.
3) Working in the administrative office of a Jewish Community Center in Buenos Aires.
4) Au Pairing for a rich Italian family in Tuscany. (Does anybody else find the idea of Au Pairing eerily romantic?)
5) Working at a hostel for the summer travel season in Norway.

And I have the application to teach for a year in Taiwan on my desk top...I'll probably fill it out later tonight. I don't know, Taiwan is way more intense than the other five things.

But I have realized the benefits of being a single American woman with a soon-to-be-Bachelor's degree. Rich rich rich families in the French and Italian Riviera will feed, cloth and house me, and give me pocket money, in exchange for speaking to their children in my own language, and keeping their children out of the way of their cleaning lady.

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