you can sleep when you're dead

ho hum

2006-07-13T09:14:04Z

I am waiting in this awfully hot city now, hoping that Jon checks email soon so that we can meet for dinner. What did people ever do before phones? I am finding it remarkably difficult and frustrating to not be able to pick up the phone and call. Maybe people just didn't travel before technology. But how did things like armies coordinate?

In the meantime, I am just chillin, trying to think of an activity for tonight and tomorrow that won't kill me. Xi'an is worse than Dallas in the summer, and worse than NY on a bad day. I walk outside and I'm drenched in sweat and choking on humidity. My activity for tomorrow was much of my activity for today: walking around. My walking around venture ended up with me taking a 3 hour nap. What I need, though, is a new book. If Jon doesn't find me tonight, I might trade in his book for a new one.

I really should be applying to jobs, but I have a hard time making myself do it. I'm on vacation now, right? Besides, internet is expensive here, it's 50 cents an hour!

Captain Planet, gonna take pollution down to zero.

2006-07-03T02:27:37Z

So first thing's first: Captain Planet, earth to Captain Planet, you're needed in CHina.
No joke. Big pipeline coming out of a coal plant spewing black liquid waste right into a river, and everything. The waste was oil-like, because the water and the waste separated at first, and then mixed together to create the black river. The black waste joining the river actually made a beautiful picture, except for the fact that it made me realize that the famers that live below the waste point all water their livestock there and wade across the river barefoot.

China's development is too early for these effects to be seen yet, I guess. So any of you guys interested in environmental action and studies go to the coal plants around datong and statistically compare birth defects and infant mortality./
jesus, it was so disgusting.

but the valley was actually pretty in its bleakness. Don't ask how that works, but it does.

We're going into the inner mongolian desert tomorrow to camp again.

When all else fails....

2006-06-09T16:48:16Z

My Chinatown bus to DC yesterday broke down and they stopped in this parking lot apparently 4 blocks from the drop-off place. But in suburban Maryland, I didn't know where I was. I called my cousin and luckily he knew where Orange Ball and Billards Cafe was, cause I sure as hell didn't. I sat down on a street corner, and was joined by this friendly homeless guy named Darrel who was drinking a steel reserve out of a paper bag and explaining to me that the shelters around there were busting his ass, and all he wanted out of life was to have a couple beers and rest his body and go to sleep.

I felt very comfortable and at home with the homeless guy. Able to relate more than to suburbia.

Maybe jobs/apartments are overrated. Maybe I should just set up a tent too. I could go for a steel reserve now....much better than drinking classy beer as I supervise my 18 year old cousin while he gets his "first experiences drinking".

Sigh.

DON'T GRADUATE

2006-06-02T06:30:35Z

Responsibilities suck. And the jobs that you're applying for...even if you get them they are awful. And you might not get them. And then you find yourself prostrating yourself to get a job that you don't want to live in a city that is too much for you to afford so you can ...get ahead in life? I hear that that is the motivation.

I hate this and I want to hibernate.

Sorry, I'm no fun today. Don't apply to work with Kaplan. I had to deal with some of the stupidest people I've ever met today. And they're supposed to be educators.

thegoonster @ 2006-05-11T02:38:00

2006-05-11T06:39:32Z

I made a mistake.

And it wasn't the long island I drank.

my name is myra and can't get work done

2006-03-14T04:50:47Z

1. dropped spanish.
2. cr/ne that stupid class.
3. no seminar this week.
4. all i have due this week is a make believe grant proposal, thursday.
5. i have no daytime class tomorrow or wednesday.
6. i am very tired and very aenemic. i can feel it.
7. my teeth hurt around the gums. i think i have gingivitis.
8. FIRECROTCHES.
9. it's about feve time. i've been wasting time waiting for feve time since 8;30.
10. 2 more months.

I thought that I had no more shame or modesty.

2006-02-21T00:20:12Z

So wrong. There's always a way for drunk Myra to continuously embarrass herself. Although I haven't had more people tell me that I was their hero than this in a really long time. It must have been my offering to god. hehehe. Caitlin's thing is a pretty good encapsulation of the evening, and thankfully I've now been allowed back into the "Don't date us, we're no good on the inside" facebook group. So now my life is complete.

I have a book in front of me that I should be reading, but I'm looking at pictures of scenic Turkey instead. Hopefully direct connect will load soon, and then I'll download Mountain Goats and watch a movie instead of doing my reading.

thegoonster @ 2006-01-26T20:43:00

2006-01-27T01:45:17Z

I just read an article talking about how the chemical profiles of a person in love is almost identical to the chemical profiles of someone with OCD.

And how romance is not biologically necessary to last more than two years.

thegoonster @ 2006-01-25T00:00:00

2006-01-25T05:06:34Z

I cut my hair again. That was a bad idea. There was a reason why I made myself promise that I would not cut my hair again on a whim.

One of the schools in Turkey wants me. But only if I can send them a photo of me that makes me look pretty. I got the email right after cutting my hair. I just frantically searched through all of my photos. Nothing where I'm not drunk. So I will have to apply in a couple months.

I ran a mile today. THat was good. My ankle hurts now. THat's bad.

I still haven't written the essay that needs to be in the mail tomorrow. Or the cover letter.

Did I already say that my ankle hurts?

And cruising with Janine through the ins and outs of Williamsburg made me remember why I love NY. And Janine. And dive bars named Wild Turkey, with the sign on the "ladies" room reading "turkettes", and an old guy at the bar who shouts after us, when we go and take our drinks into a corner, that girls never talk to him and it's just his luck that only the antisocial girls go to his bar. I told him that after our conversation, we'd come back and talk to him. I timed our departure with when he was in the bathroom. He scared me.

I need to either party in the city every night or go back to Ohio. Ossining makes me feel like I'm souless with questionable morals.

Ladies, leave your man at home, the club is full of....

2006-01-21T02:14:07Z

Ruth told me that I had to think of something exciting for us to do, that was wild and crazy and would break all boundaries.

I suggested that we make a fire, fire up some hot chocolate, and play charades with my family.

She told me that I'm pathetic.

In other news, it's moved beyond a fixation. I am utterly obsessed with getting the fuck out of the United States, and giving myself a year off. I hope that I don't get this Met job. I hope I hope I hope, because I won't be able to turn it down. In the last half an hour, though, I just sent emails/CVs to apply for
1) Teaching English Literature to upper high school AP equivalents in Istambul for one year, paid, and apartment with other foreign English teachers.
2) Teaching English to elementary school children in Egypt, using a new-wave, neo-hippie method where you play contact games in English.
3) Working in the administrative office of a Jewish Community Center in Buenos Aires.
4) Au Pairing for a rich Italian family in Tuscany. (Does anybody else find the idea of Au Pairing eerily romantic?)
5) Working at a hostel for the summer travel season in Norway.

And I have the application to teach for a year in Taiwan on my desk top...I'll probably fill it out later tonight. I don't know, Taiwan is way more intense than the other five things.

But I have realized the benefits of being a single American woman with a soon-to-be-Bachelor's degree. Rich rich rich families in the French and Italian Riviera will feed, cloth and house me, and give me pocket money, in exchange for speaking to their children in my own language, and keeping their children out of the way of their cleaning lady.

I'm a running rockstar.

2006-01-18T05:52:25Z

that's right. I went for a jog today. A real one. At the end of every lap, I told myself that I could stop, and I tried to stop, but then it stopped feeling good.

I no longer communicate. My communication ended when I came back to NY from Oberlin. THere's nobody to communicate with here.

I do dream here, though. Last night I dreamt that I moved to Egypt to find a husband, and ended up marrying an American army guy, and he eventually decided that he wanted to stay in the Middle East and he was trying to get me to convert. And then I woke up.

Hmm, conversion nightmares? I've been staring at too much Rouault.

But really, maybe conversion is important. Maybe the dream was telling me that converting to what ever religion your potential husband identifies with, is step 13 in "17 Ways to Land a Husband".

thegoonster @ 2006-01-07T18:50:00

2006-01-07T23:57:35Z

1)I have used the word 'pudendum' more times in the last page than I can ever remember doing, besides when I wrote this paper the first time.

2)I have 9 pages, that I have no idea how to turn into 15, and I've already inserted my pictures.

3) I realized that the reason why I was able to write 20 pages before, was that it was bad. And disconjunct.

4) This is stupid. Caitlin and I made booklists for life last night, and all I really want to do is start reading them

5) Every hour on the hour, dance to one jazzercize song. This is replacing the hourly Mudd ramp cigarette break. It makes me feel like more of a winner, but is surprisingly less invigorating. Quitting smoking is easy, writing papers is hard. This is my conclusion on life.

6) I have just realized that I forgot to wash my neck last night when I took a shower, and that piece of knowledge is bothering me immensely.

7) I have decided that whenever tonight I finish this thing, I'm going to go to the 24 hour CVS and buy myself something. Most likely new shampoo and conditioner. But maybe I'll get a new shade of eye shadow, or something. Project Girl is underway, baby.

8) The End. But everybody should remember to wish G a happy birthday.

i can fly!

2005-12-31T21:05:36Z

well, jump. and run. the doctor said so.

I am now procrastinating. I told my self that I could not go into NY until I had outlined my fucking paper. But now it's 4, I still haven't done it, and I want to go in. Who says I even need credit for that fucking seminar, anyway.

I cleaned my room. I organized my socks. I put all of my schoolwork for the past 3 years into folders, and labeled them by course and year. If I could find my knitting needles, I would knit myself 8 sweaters before I wrote this paper.

Toba used my tooth brush, by "accident", and so I sent her out to buy me a new one. This might sound excessive, but she used it while she was still chewing, and now there's gross food pieces in it. I sent her out for the toothbrush an hour and a half ago. I can't get on the train before I brush my teeth. Or start my paper.

Fuck.

Maybe I should just write it all tomorrow night. I wish I could just pop an aderol and churn it out, but I forgot about this paper, and wasted my last one for my family's chanuka party to try and make myself interested in anything any of my relatives were saying. Mental note. Concentration helps conversation with grandparents who are thoroughly uninterested in anything that you do.

damn damn damn.

whatever, I'll do the paper later. It's snowing. I should get into Manhattan asap.

Haily's in the kennel and I'm happy: merry christmas all you christians

2005-12-25T02:59:49Z

I know that I'm not really supposed to have a celebration for Christmas, but we still have a little routine that I like.

But the Chinese food tonight- not so good. In fact, it was god awful. (Is it blasphemous to say God's name in vain on Christmas eve?)
So merry Christmas to me, dinner was white rice and the protein bar I'm eating now.

Also, they don't give us meals on the plane tomorrow? What the hell is that about? It's a 6 hour flight...

Sigh. I've been home for 49 hours. And counting.

It could be worse. My dog could be here.

I am not a winner, nor am I a rockstar.

2005-12-16T09:16:49Z

Instead, I am a dolt.

A dolt who now hates technology. Who has to write her paper over, and doesn't have time to do it in, and a dolt who's computery friends are doing her no good now.

I am also a dolt who is tired, being that it's 4:20am, but who is afraid to sleep, because that's when nightmares happen.

It's also quite possible that I am just a dolt. An immature, 11 year old dolt. Who just lost her term paper, to a Microsoft Word-eating virus.

Fuck you, microsoft. you entice my father, and then eat my papers. And I was in such a good mood yesterday...I got a new speculum, and everything. Everybody loves new speculum.....

Seating for Winners ONLY!!

2005-12-10T23:13:20Z

That's the table that I'm sitting at right now, courtesy of Janine. Sara is diligently doing homework next to me. I am not. I will probably get kicked out of the winner's section soon.

Obedient Pony tonight should be fun. It's the only fun I'm going to have for weeks, and weeks on end. Weeks.

And I have spell checked this one. No more spelling mistakes. Especially important things, such as masturbation.

there's no masterbation in africa

2005-12-02T03:31:32Z

that's why it's called the dark continent.

This is apparently what I wrote in an email last night, in the process of attempting to explain that Africa would be a difficult location to be placed in with the Peace Corps because of the AIDS epidemic.

I didn't think that I would say that, even in my most cracked out moments. Because it doesn't make sense. And usually I have a slight logic. It's just way beyond everybody around me.

But no, I did.

And apparently as well, I have a new major theory, in addition to Notes on Gravity, and Why You Can't Masterbate in Africa. It's called Cyclopses Can't Breath.

I don't really understand it. But Bernie claims that I insist this when, on rare occasions, I become intoxicated. Rare. Because only lushes get drunk all the time.

I have a paper to finish. This is why I'm updating.

the scenest of the scenesters

2005-11-26T00:31:55Z

My 16 year old cousin described a friend of hers, as a scenester. Farah, I had kinda thought that you were making them up. But oh no. And they're taking over.

I'm very full, in that warm tingly, I've eaten more in the last two days than I did in the whole previous week.

My family is now singing "amazing wife" to the tune of amazing grace, and I don't understand why.

I'm also trying to convince my dad to go to H &M with me and Toba, and buy us something pretty. It's not working.

OSSINING TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

no sex please, we're aurignacian

2005-11-22T07:24:38Z

I have so much energy. And so little desire to write my paper.

But I love wearing sweaters that aren't mine to bed. And I love it when you start to see things out of the corner of your eye.

It's not my fault I can't do my paper- my housemates are watching Rock and Roll High School. I tried to ask politely to watch the awful movie on Ramadan (again) for my paper, and all I got were fists.

I was just looking at how expensive it is to get to Mexico. I totally have enough to get to the border. We can whore our way down, whaddya say, darlin?

The washer's broken, too. How can I rid my clothes of inappropriate smells before Thanksgiving, with no washing machine? Mexico, oh Mexico. Wait, maybe that's supposed to be Canada there.

HP4

2005-11-18T08:59:01Z

I'm a dork.

But- a dork who

SAW HARRY POTTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! whoot whoot!

TOTALLY worth going to bed at 4 am. But now I've got to get up at 8 and write a paper before 2:30.

Maybe not such a good idea, afterall.

Next question should be, if I declined to write a response paper, should I skip the class altogether? Or go and hide in the back row. leaning towards skipping, 10 am is soooooooooo early.

Make out parties are sooooooo last year

2005-11-13T23:41:14Z

At least that's what I thought until last night, when my housemates all decided to make out with each other and each other's significant others in the middle of the dancefloor, in a writhing, rolling mess.

And now my head hurts. Sparks + Metallica cover bands = fantastic fantastic mosh pits. (warning, common side affects include broken bones, re-breaking bones, and damaging pre-broken bones. Do not try this at home.)

Walking is soooo last year. That's why I limp instead. Limp like a gimp.

no babies

2005-11-12T23:17:40Z

But happy baby week! Just sending out general reminders to enjoy the week but please, no babies.

There were no babies at the clinic today. First time that's happened since I've been there.

I think that's because it's baby week. I'm teaching a class on pregnancy this next week, and so I've decided that it's baby week, and that we should all celebrate that we don't have babies.

Fuck! ANOTHER virus? I hate life, but I love baby week. And I love Metallica even more.

p.s. don't have a baby.
p.p.s. Metallica cover band's debut tonight, who's ready to rock?

it's all about inertia, baby

2005-11-08T14:19:55Z

I had this grand idea last night, when i was really tired, that I should go to bed and finish the really important work that I had this morning.

Well, it's morning, and I got enough sleep (which was the goal of the idea) but now I again have zero motivation of doing this.

Maybe if I putz around until I register, I'll then be able to get it together enough to write a stupid reading response so I don't fail my classes this semester. THe new goal being making this my last registration ever.

sigh.

See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil

2005-10-31T02:44:32Z

I just re-invented postmodernism all by myself.

Apparently my grand, overarching theory on the study of disciplines that I've been working on since I was 16 and began excavating, has been done.

Overdone.

And in a big way.

My real question is, however, how did I avoid knowing what postmodernism is (besides clearly understanding that it was a cuss word) until my senior year at Oberlin, of all places?

I am in heaven.

2005-10-27T00:57:56Z

I was just yelling at the computer because it was slow, and then Alli just asked if I wanted to help her finish off a pack of cigarrettes and threw me one. I am now online, while sitting on the couch watching television, smoking a cigarrette. And we're getting beer for the game, and I am going to remain in this position all night.